It had been a very stressful two weeks following the phone call that let me know my body was essentially metabolizing itself away. As much as I had tried, I couldn’t keep myself from researching different causes for hyperthyroidism, from the natural variations to the scary “c” word – cancer. During that time, I became overly aware of every feeling I was having, from the moments were my heart would race to the random sweating spells I was experiencing. Looking back, I’m not sure how I didn’t realize something was happening sooner.
The first week of November was my follow-up with my PCP and the visit to the endocrinologist. I was feeling very nervous about going to see the endocrinologist as I was fearful of what they would have to say.
My PCP visit was very short, going over the specifics on my test results they had run. I actually did not see the doctor, but rather the nurse practitioner, who was great at answering my questions and clearly explaining the situation.
The long and short of it was that the levels of the Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) were very low, allowing my body to produce unchecked levels of the other thyroid hormones (T3 & T4). This is hyperthyroidism.
The reasons behind my out-of-control thyroid levels were unclear, and this is why I was referred to the endocrinologist.
I had the endocrinology appointment the following day. As I collected all my things into my car to head to work, I took time to appreciate the absolute beauty of the morning sky. It was an incredible gradient of colors that I felt was a positive omen for the day.
Upon arriving to the office, I was ferried this way and that way to wait in multiple rooms before being brought to the examination room. Thankfully, the doctor came very quickly after I was placed in the room, which helped to calm my nerves a bit as the waiting was the worst part.
“I’m so sorry you have to be here to meet me… My name is Dr. S,” the doctor said as he introduced himself.
During the exam, he asked me questions about any symptoms or behaviors I had been having which seemed out of the ordinary. I mentioned I had lost about 25 lbs from late May to late July and that I noticed my resting heart rate had increased approximately 20 bpm from mid-June to July. I also talked about how I had a voracious appetite and how I had taken to eating essentially hourly during all of my waking hours.
He nodded, listening.
He then asked me about my behavior, specifically focusing on what my husband might notice. “Does your husband say you are more irritable than usual?”
More irritable than usual, YES! I am a parent to a 5-year-old and an almost 1-year-old…. my patience is tested by the day, by the hour – sometimes by the minute! I am a teacher… in a public high school… during a pandemic. OF COURSE I am irritable! A few days later I would understand what he meant by unusually irritable, but at the time I hadn’t really thought much about it.
He asked me if I was currently sweating… I hadn’t really been paying attention to my temperature but, yes, yes I was sweaty.
He palpated my thyroid and then listened to it through a stethoscope, after which he discussed that based on the test results I had brought with me to confirm that I was indeed hyperthyroid.
“Your thyroid levels aren’t the most extreme I’ve seen, but they are definitely high. You are a science teacher, so I know you have done research to determine that this hyperthyroidism is a little late to be associated with postpartum thyroiditis.”
I nodded, agreeing that through my research, the dates for onset of hyperthyroidism caused by postpartum thyroiditis didn’t match up.
“I think it is very likely that you have Graves’ disease. We will do additional blood testing to confirm this.”
I had read about Graves’ disease, so I had a general understanding of what it was and how to test for it. Graves’ disease is an autoimmune condition where the body produces an antibody which tricks your thyroid cells to produce more hormone, effectively throwing you into hyperthyroidism. It is unclear what causes Graves’ disease, but there is believed to be a genetic link.
The rest of the visit was filled with Dr. S discussing what medications he would put me on to start trying to get my thyroid levels under control, visiting the lab to have cultures and blood taken, and scheduling of my next few appointments.
I left the office with a very strange mix of relief and dread about what the doctor told me. I didn’t really know how to process it… whether I should be happy that I had a plan of action going forward or sad that I may have to deal with this condition for the rest of my life. I honestly still don’t really know how to feel about it, even after a few weeks.
The weekend came, and I spent some wonderful time with my family. I attended a robotics meet at my husband’s school, where my son was introduced to robotics for the first time.
My son checking out the robotics match field
That weekend, I experienced the unusual irritability the doctor had mentioned in my appointment. I was buckling the children into their car seats after a visit to the grocery store. Now, every parent with a car knows the struggle, stress, and difficulty that is getting your kids into the seat and buckled. It can be a quick 30 second experience…. or it can be a long, drawn-out process where you plead with your children and negotiate like they are holding hostages.
I was working on getting K buckled in when I asked I to get hers completed. As a 5-year-old, we have been building her independence to buckle her own seatbelt.
“No.“
I looked back at her, aware that my heart rate had slightly increased. But, this was the usual frustration of dealing with a defiant I child – I got this. Again, I reminded her to buckle her seatbelt.
“No!” And this time, she turned in her seat to face her window.
The next moment was a blur. I went full stop, valve opened, burner on max, bubbling over immediately. I yelled, screamed, stomped, shouted – you name it – at her to buckle her seatbelt, grabbing her arm and practically frothing at the mouth. She turned back to look at me and starting wailing.
Ah, unusual irritability. I see it now.
It was the following week when I called the endocrinologist back to ask that they send paperwork to my PCP so they could keep track of my progress. I received a phone call shortly thereafter my contact with them where they told me, definitively, that I have Graves’ disease. My heart sank when I heard the woman on the phone say it.
“Dr. S says that your bloodwork is consistent with Graves’ disease.”
Well, at least now I know.
I have started the antithyroid medication and am waiting for a good long weekend to start the beta blockers to deal with my heart symptoms. I will go back in a few weeks for a follow-up to see how I’m responding to the treatment. From there, we will map out a more long term treatment plan.
I am slowly coming to terms that I have a lifelong autoimmune disorder. I will always have to keep an eye out for flare ups of my condition that can affect not only my weight but my heart, my bones, my eyes, my skin… my fertility. I may have to receive radioactive therapy or surgery if my condition is uncontrolled by medication. On the positive side, I have noticed that my irritability is better… but I also wonder if it’s because I know I’m taking medicine so therefore I feel better. Whatever the case, I am now receiving treatment for a condition I had no idea existed just a few weeks ago. We will see what the future will look like as time progresses.
My name is Tita, and I have Graves’ disease.
Tita In Motion 
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